You know those prenatal classes where they show you scary tools to “assist” with delivering your baby and how breast milk is definitely the only option * rolls eyes *. These are the same classes that tell you, your first birth is not going to be like it is in the movies. Well excuse me for ruining your stats, but mine certainly was!
I had never once been scared about my birth – I didn’t really give it a second thought. It was going to happen at some stage so I thought there’s no point in worrying my over-anxious self about something that was inevitable. It was the 30th March, and for the last 8.5 months I’d been a whinging, waddling, vomiting, emotional wreck. To say I disliked pregnancy was an understatement. I never got the pregnancy glow. People would say to me, “ohhh you’ve got that lovely glow” and I would respond with “No, I’m just f-ing hot and sweaty.”
I had two girlfriends over the day Zach was born (both who are mothers.) I was bouncing on my fitball after another sleepless night, trying to decipher when this damn baby was going to enter the world and give me my non-achy body back. I kept leaking and I said to the girls I feel like I have to pee every 2 minutes. I wasn’t in any pain that I hadn’t experienced before, I had miniscule period-like cramps which were eased with a heat pack.
I remember contemplating calling my midwife during the day, but thought I’d wait until my partner Jassi got home from work – obviously I had no idea I was in early stages of labour. When he got home around 5pm we called the midwife and she said to come in for an internal examination (which by the way was so much worse than labour itself – WTF are those scary metal things they shove up you and tell you to relax and not clench?! If anyone tells you its like a pap smear – they are lying.) After TWO internal examinations because the first swab was inconclusive, they told me my hind waters had broken and I was 3cm dilated. Remember how I said I wasn’t scared, at this point in time I said to my midwife if the pain of labour is like that internal, I would not be doing it and the baby would just have to live in my uterus forever. She gave me the best piece of advice I’ve ever received – she said: “Labour is a natural function of the human body and a natural pain, an internal examination is a foreign object being put in your body and an unnatural pain– so they are different.”
After leaving the hospital with a script for pain meds and a sleeping tablet to help me get through a night of pain, I was actually quite calm and relaxed. We got home and Jassi was cleaning our freshly renovated kitchen, for an Insta before and after. I was sitting on the couch, probably scrolling through Facebook/Instagram thinking will this be the last time I ever sit alone in peace (why yes, yes it would be.) I got up to go to the toilet once again and by my second step my entire waters broke all over our floor –luckily we have floorboards.
It was at that moment, I got my first real contraction, and sh#t it hit me like a tonne of bricks. There was no build up, no warning like they tell you in the classes. My first two contractions were 3 minutes apart and I was hunched over the couch already wanting to push. Jassi being the rational one, calmly called the midwife suspecting I was overreacting and also reverting back to those classes – god love him.
About 15 minutes later my parents arrived; my mum to help with the labour, and my dad to pick up our fur baby Thunda. Mum took one look at me and told Jassi we needed to leave 5 minutes ago for the hospital. I was in the bath by this time (another excellent piece of advice from the classes) and I couldn’t bloody get out. My contractions were close to 2 minutes apart and I could barely stand up to get out of the tub.
We were in the car minutes later, without a properly packed hospital bag because it was 2 weeks before my due date and it had been drilled into my brain that I’d most likely go over my due date. I had packed my bag about 2 months prior, but kept unpacking it and packing it again as us nesting mums-to-be do. Unfortunately, today was a day that it was left half unpacked. The car ride was probably most like the movies – I was screaming at Jassi to drive faster, go through red lights and cursing.
We got to the hospital and Zach was born 51 minutes later, making my entire labour (including placenta delivery) 1 hour and 41 minutes. I had the mindset that I wanted to try and have a drug-free labour, which was lucky because I had no chance of getting any pain relief. I had no tearing, not a lot of blood loss. I pretty much had the best labour ever and to be honest, I can’t wait to do it again!
Jessica says: I’m a time-Nazi, part-time real estate agent, part-time blogger, runner and cat lover.
Hood: Eltham North
Children: 1 baby boy
Motherhood in 5 words: Emotional, tough, exhilarating, endless love & f-ed up!
Fav family-friendly place: Westerfolds Park in Doncaster
Coffee order: Large Mocha
Blog: My Son Zach
My creative outlet of the fu#&ed-up emotional rollercoaster (more fondly known as motherhood) where I have been at my highest high, and lowest low.
This is a place where you can connect with Melbourne mothers to share the good, the bad and the topics that we don't talk about but really need to.
Join the hood.
Share your motherhood story.
The information in this story is a unique and personal reflection of the writer's experience. If you have any specific questions about any medical matter you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition you should seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this website.